I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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