Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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