we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I want to be your penis for a week.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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