Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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