i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
