This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
