She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
