"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
