You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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