Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
