Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
