hotel room ftw
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
