So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
My feet surprised me
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
