I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
