Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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