I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize