She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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