I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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