yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
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