I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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