Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(808): View more from Hawaii

Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?

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(253): View more from Washington

dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.

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(805): View more from California

The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded

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(937): View more from Ohio

I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.

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(404): View more from Georgia

I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?

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(937): View more from Ohio

I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.

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