Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
