Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
