Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
