We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
