My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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