I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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