She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
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