wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You can't just leave with hair like that
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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