Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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