Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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