wake up i wanna do it froggy style
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
did i just pee glitter
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
