I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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