and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I am naked and annoyed.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
