I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
