No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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