No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
