im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
