someone get that fucking seahorse.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I think weed is turning my hair brown
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
