I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
