I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
