he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
