big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
