she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
