Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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