i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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