I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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