I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
i out mim tonsoeep
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