yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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