I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
is wine microwaveable?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
