You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
