hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
