So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Randomize
