oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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