shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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