There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize