we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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