I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
