To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
